Dr. Pont Du Loc’s Evil Island: A Choose Your Own Film Adventure Starring Johnny Depp

b. Ventures to Older Johnny’s world with him

His life in Chicago, although parallel to Older Johnny’s, seems mundane and unpleasant–Johnny wants to see what Older Johnny’s world is like. Why spend years trying to develop as an actor when you can just live the great life vicariously through the Johnny that had to work at it? It’s so much easier, and the shit he’s had to put up with regarding Dr. Pont Du Loc seems to warrant a life of relaxation and freedom from stress.

JOHNNY
I’ll go to your world. Seems nice.

OLDER JOHNNY
It’s not all peaches and pussy cream,
but it’s a nice time.

JOHNNY
I’m pretty sure that’s not quite how
that saying goes, but I’m still
all for it.

The two Johnnies activate Older Johnny’s portal, and walk through. They both pass out from the brightness of the light within the portal and the overwhelming sensation of movement.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNSET STRIP, L.A. – NIGHT

Both Johnnies wake up in the middle of L.A.’s Sunset Strip, right outside The Roxy Theatre. People all around them instantly recognize both versions of Johnny, although the presence of both wipes their faces with confusion.

The crowd gathers around them as both Johnnies stand up, and Older Johnny gives an introduction.

OLDER JOHNNY
Hello, all. This here is
me. He’s a younger me,
but he’s still me, and
he’s fucking awesome.
I just want to keep things
transparent, because there’s no
real way to hide this,
and this isn’t a younger doppelgänger.
This is literally me,
from another dimension,
and we’re going to act in
everything together from now on.
In fact, from now on, the only
types of movies I’m going to do
are ones where I run into this
version of me, from another
world. We’ll be from different
worlds in each movie,
and it’ll be really fucking fun.

The crowd, dumbfounded at first, takes a few seconds to process this monologue, and then they all burst into a storm of cheers and applause.

Both Johnnies revel in the attention, and Older Johnny raises younger Johnny’s arm, and the two shout “yeah” in pride. The camera spins around them as they stand and bask in the cheers.

THE END

While I won’t write the script for one of these cross-dimensional-Johnny films (although I suppose this is one already), I think this is a pretty happy ending, don’t you? If not, go back to page 1 and take Johnny on a different path, or go back to Johnny’s original world with the other option from the page before.

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