Dr. Pont Du Loc’s Evil Island: A Choose Your Own Film Adventure Starring Johnny Depp

d. Continues his search for condoms through the open door

Still feeling horny and thinking that girl from the bar is worth all this, Johnny wanders through the door on the right, treading softly. He quietly opens it and stumbles into a short hallway with one other room at the end. The door is cracked open there, too.

He walks over to the door and opens it, and inside is a storage closet full of open boxes of Trojan condoms, on the floor and on shelves. Prophylactics of all sizes lay strewn about, begging to be worn by the most desperate of men. Whether or not they’ve been used, Johnny can’t quite tell, but lube glistens in the light, like mountains of sparkling diamonds tempting him to take them. Should he? How does he know they aren’t contaminated with some horribly concocted STD by the madman in the other room back there, a disease that can make your penis turn inward, mutate, and begin eating your insides like a famished snake? There just isn’t a single obvious answer here.

A few gas cans sit beside the hundreds of boxes of condoms on a separate table, along with a large box of matches. Why they are there along with these condoms, Johnny doesn’t quite understand, but perhaps it’s an indication that he should simply burn all of these things and prevent any other man from ruining his junk, his life and his lover’s by wearing one of these things. On the other hand, they do appear pretty clean, but looks can be deceiving.

Considering the options available to him, Johnny:

a. Grabs some condoms and attempts to leave the compound (page 26)
b. Decides condoms are probably diseased, tries to leave quietly (page 27)
c. Burns the condoms and the rest of the facility with them (page 28)

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