Breeders (1986) Review

[WARNING: This review contains screenshots of various nude women, including shots of actresses who appear to be in the midst of orgasmic heaven while bathing in what looks like vanilla pudding. If you are under 18 and looking at this review for masturbation material because you don’t have access to actual porn due to parental locks, or can’t get laid, I can understand perfectly. However, if you’re above 18 and came here looking for the same thing, I suggest you visit a variety of other sites that have a lot more explicit material to satisfy your needs. Escort services are also a good bet if you want the real thing. Google is a great friend. Thanks for taking a look at this review in any case!]

It’s common knowledge that the greatest horror films are the ones that explore themes most people are afraid to explore, from extreme torture, to vicious cold-blooded murder, to alien rape and subsequent impregnation in abandoned subway stations. The latter is what this film dives into with unadulterated fearlessness, and it sure as hell does a fine job keeping the topic original and classy.

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R.O.T.O.R. (1987) Review

There are few action films that evoke the kind of emotions that make you proud to be a filmgoer, particularly when it comes to films about rogue killer robots like the absolutely abysmal The Terminator or Terminator 2, but when they show up for audiences twenty years into the future and let you revel in their superior production, it’s movie magic in its truest form.

The film I am referring to in this case is a sadly obscure gem called R.O.T.O.R. Released in 1987, Cullen Blaine’s seminal film takes the then-popular concepts of The Terminator and RoboCop franchises and chisels them into something truly revolutionary, bringing philosophical ruminations about the nature of humanity and the moral ambiguity of technological development to the forefront of the audience’s thoughts. This is a thinking man’s film if there ever was one, no doubt about it. No little people with simple minds will be able to actually comprehend or appreciate this marvel in filmmaking.

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Ghosts of Mars (2001) Review

People have praised John Carpenter’s Halloween and The Thing as his crowning achievements, acknowledging them as groundbreakers in the genre of horror, with Halloween often credited with spawning a slew of slasher flicks that saturated the 1980s into today, while¬†The Thing¬†supposedly changed the shape (pun most certainly intended) of movie monsters. At the same time, people forget to appreciate the film that represents the true pinnacle of Carpenter’s career, a culmination of all that he has hoped to achieve in the realm of horror ever since the inception of his career. That film is 2001’s Ghosts of Mars.

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