Dr. Pont Du Loc’s Evil Island: A Choose Your Own Film Adventure Starring Johnny Depp

c. Confronts the man at the desk

Johnny, remaining cautious, decides he may be able to speak with the man at the desk and ask him what he’s doing there and how he wound up in this mystery R&D facility. He walks quietly toward the man, until he gets right behind him.

He taps the man, who is DR. PONT DU LOC, on his right shoulder, and the man whips around.

Johnny screams and jumps back, and Dr. Pont Du Loc screams as well, backing up into his desk with the sliding chair.

DR. PONT DU LOC
You scared me, my friend!
I knew you were here,
but not right behind me.
You’ll give me a heart attack.

JOHNNY
How could anything scare you
when you live in a place like this?

DR. PONT DU LOC
Oh, don’t be silly. I don’t live here.
I just work here.
My castle is in the volcano
on the other side of the island.

JOHNNY
(looking away
for a moment)
Okay, then.
Never mind.
What is this place?

DR. PONT DU LOC
It’s the Evil Island Research &
Development Center.
Did you not see the sign
when you came in?

JOHNNY
I’m asking more about
the entire island.
Everything that’s going on.
And why am I here?

DR. PONT DU LOC
But you’ve always been here.

JOHNNY
(shocked)
What?

DR. PONT DU LOC
(laughing)
I’m just joking. You’re new
here. But, to answer your
initial question, this is
Evil Island. It’s as evil
as the name would suggest.
I’ve been here for going on 350 years.
And you are someone I’ve been
waiting for for about 100 of those.

Johnny takes a few steps back toward the impact doors behind him.

DR. PONT DU LOC
If you’re thinking about leaving,
I’ll go ahead and say
that you can’t leave at this point.
Any further attempt to will
result in your death.
I can assure you.
Each death is fairly amusing, too.

JOHNNY
Get to the point. What do
you want from me?

DR. PONT DU LOC
It’s quite simple.
I want you to become my slave.
You’ll be Number 6, among
my other Top 5 slaves in
those cages over there.

Johnny looks at the slaves as they continue to groan.

DR. PONT DU LOC
You’re fascinating, Johnny.
A man existing in two forms.
In your current form,
you’re living in Chicago.
Your future self, however,
comes from the land of L.A.
And yet, peculiarly, your careers
follow the same path, over
the same number of years.
Would you like more exposition?

JOHNNY
Yes.

DR. PONT DU LOC
I can’t explain how your future
self is able to share
the same space as you in 1988,
or why exactly your current
version is living in Chicago in 2016.
Perhaps I caused an existential
disturbance when looking at your life
through my observation portal.
But I’ve observed you both,
and it’s become clear:
If I capture you, I get the benefits
of both your box office powers.
As an eternally youthful actor
in A-list Hollywood heaven,
you get everything you want.
If I take you as my slave,
I can absorb that power
and eventually leak through both
Chicago and L.A., using
a portal developed by
these powers, and
take over your world through
both ends.
But don’t necessarily think
of it as slavery.
I will give you all
the clams you can eat in return.

Pause.

JOHNNY
That’s it?

DR. PONT DU LOC?
Everybody loves clams.

JOHNNY
Not people who are allergic
to shellfish.

DR. PONT DU LOC
Are you?

JOHNNY
What if I say yes?

DR. PONT DU LOC
Then I’m afraid I’ll
have to kill you,
because that’s all the food
I have to feed my slaves.

JOHNNY
I like clams, I guess.

DR. PONT DU LOC
Good. Think of becoming my
demon slave as an acting job,
an experience that,
if you somehow escape,
can incorporate into a
future performance,
if you can figure out how
to get out of here.

Johnny takes that into consideration. He’d never thought of what it would be like to be a demon slave, or any type of slave for that matter.

DR. PONT DU LOC
These slaves represent
your innermost suffering,
your oppression at the hands
of box office demand and
Hollywood studios’ merciless
efforts to sell, sell, sell.
Consider becoming one of my
slaves as a form of art,
an exploration of one’s self.
It will be the ultimate form
of method acting. You’ll
put Christian Bale to shame.
So, what’ll it be?

Johnny thinks hard about the situation, considering other options. All he can think of is to attempt to kill this evil madman, put an end to these slaves’ suffering, find someway out of that island, and get back to a bar. Then again, being a slave could give him inspiration as an actor not previously found.

While making his final decision, Johnny notices a man in the shadows, standing and observing. He wonders who he is, and squints toward it. Who could it be?

Johnny:

a. Voluntarily chooses to become a slave as a form of method acting (page 17)
b. Attempts to kill Dr. Pont Du Loc with whatever he can find (page 18)
c. Confronts the man in the shadows, who may be able to assist him (page 19)

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