Dr. Pont Du Loc’s Evil Island: A Choose Your Own Film Adventure Starring Johnny Depp

a. Calls out to the woman and tries to get her to help him escape

The remnants of a man named Johnny Depp come alive within, and the desire to escape this place presents itself in the form of a cry. He attempts to ask the woman for help, but finds the words don’t come out quite as easily as he’d like.

JOHNNY
(waving an apish arm)
Goom. Goom poom.

The woman turns to him, confusion still plastered on her face. She obviously doesn’t recognize him through his altered physique and tribal brown and white facial markings. He tries again.

JOHNNY
Goom, soom, room.

Johnny begins sobbing, in disbelief at how he wound up in this situation, a tragic primitive slave with nothing left.

The woman from the bar notices Johnny’s despair and walks over to him, with sadness in her eyes.

WOMAN FROM THE BAR
(quietly so as not to
disturb Dr. Pont Du Loc)
Aww, are you okay?
You look so sad.

JOHNNY
(still crying)
Goom. Goom. Doom.

WOMAN FROM THE BAR
I don’t understand.
Do you want help?

JOHNNY
(nodding)
Goom. Oom goom.

WOMAN FROM THE BAR
Okay, hold on, sweetie.
I’ll see what I can do.
I don’t even know how I got here
or what this place is.

The woman from the bar looks over at Dr. Pont Du Loc’s desk. A set of keys sits on the edge on the Doctor’s left. The woman looks around for a distraction she can provide to lure the doctor away for a moment. She logically spots a loose large rock on the rocky cave floor, picks it up, and throws it into the shadows on the far end of the room on the Doctor’s right.

The Doctor gets up, grunts, and walks over to the shadows to investigate the sound. Meanwhile, the woman grabs the keys and quickly tries each of the six keys on Johnny’s cage door, until she finds the right one.

Just then the Doctor returns, with a wicked grin on his face.

DR. PONT DU LOC
You didn’t think I’d be that moronic,
did you? You’ll be surprised to
know that I’ve been aware
of your presence since
before you arrived here.

WOMAN FROM THE BAR
Wh-who are you?

DR. PONT DU LOC
I am Dr. Pont Du Loc.
I rule this island, and
hopefully much more in
the future, now that I
have Johnny Depp in
my grasp.

The Doctor points to Johnny.

WOMAN FROM THE BAR
(turning to look at Johnny,
grinning)
Johnny Depp, from 21 Jump Street?
He’s so dreamy!

Johnny groans, shaking his head in frustration.

DR. PONT DU LOC
Oh, but he’s in so much more.
It may be around 1988 where you come from,
but Johnny has quite a future ahead
of him. And I aim to harness that
power he possesses, that
Hollywood persuasion.
Of both him and future
Johnny combined.

WOMAN FROM THE BAR
I don’t get it.
What do you want?

DR. PONT DU LOC
To control the world,
darling. To control the world.
Like every other megalomaniacal
villain that’s existed in Johnny’s
world. And he gives me the power
to move over to your world.

WOMAN FROM THE BAR
I’m going to save him!
Fuck you!

DR. PONT DU LOC
(grabbing her arm)
Oh, no, you won’t.
But I’ll give Johnny another choice.
I could really use a sex slave
around here. It gets lonely for an
evil, debauched scientist, you know?

WOMAN FROM THE BAR
No. No, you-you can’t!

DR. PONT DU LOC
(looking at Johnny
while holding the woman
in place)
I suppose I’m horny enough to say,
if you would like to leave
and become your normal old
self, resume your life, et cetera,
I’ll let you leave this place
if you refuse to fight me, in exchange for
this lovely lady. What can I say?
I’m feeling generous. It’s what
horniness does. But what do you say?
Nod to show me you agree to this plan,
or do whatever else you’d like to do
if you disagree.

Johnny knows better than to believe he’ll be let go in any case, and his conscience won’t likely let him simply sacrifice this woman for his own selfish reasons. After all, Johnny is a ladies’ man. Facing the situation, and the potential implications of both choices, Johnny:

a. Sacrifices woman as sex slave in exchange for release (page 24)
b. Teams with the woman to put an end to Dr. Pont Du Loc (page 25)

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