Dr. Pont Du Loc’s Evil Island: A Choose Your Own Film Adventure Starring Johnny Depp

b. Tries to free slaves

A wave of generosity surges through Johnny, and mixed with intense empathy, these feelings inspire him to attempt to save these trapped creatures. He sneaks over to the cages, tears filling his eyes as the slaves’ moans rip at his soul. He tries his best to avoid making a sound as to get the attention of the clearly unstable man sitting at the desk. He raises a hand to one of the cage doors, with a solitary puppy-eyed demon slave sitting inside staring up at Johnny, but Johnny realizes he should probably look around for a key to open the padlocks on them first.

However, while turning around, Johnny notices the padlock in front of his hand unlocking itself and rusting before his eyes. It falls to the ground and shatters, releasing a copper-colored puff of dust. Realizing it may be his will that corroded the padlock, he tries it on another. The same reaction happens. He tries it on the other three, until all five cages are opened. Johnny seems to be endowed with magic of some sort.

Quietly, he leads each slave out as they seem oddly reluctant to go. In fact, one refuses to leave. He tries to get the last one out.

C’mon, little guy.
I’m getting you outta here.

The slave grunts and shakes his head. He pounds his chained hands on the ground once, which gets Johnny to back up and settle for the other four slaves.

Johnny leads the remaining slaves out together, giving one somber last look at the one staying back, who stares back with a pitiful scowl. The slave pounds his fists once more, presumably to notify his master, which gets Johnny to start moving away.

As Johnny heads for the entrance from which he came, the other slaves stop, pat him on the back, grunt softly and point to a doorway next to the last cage on the left. It’s a simple brown door, but hidden in the shadows. Johnny walks toward it and opens it.

Inside it is an enormous section of cave the size of a large manufacturing plant, with many rows of cages stacked on top of each other, each containing a single slave. The groaning is almost unbearable, and Johnny becomes so emotionally affected by the sound that he collapses and sobs on the floor. Remaining in the fetal position, Johnny wonders how someone could do something so horrible to these people. And how will he free them? How?

Then he hears footsteps approach. They’re heavy enough to shake the ground beneath him, and he looks up ahead of him to find the source. He sees a MAN-SCISSORS HYBRID standing there, looking like a tragic and entirely imperfect unnatural fusion between scissors and a human male. Scissor tips poke out from all over his irreversibly deformed body, protruding from his head, shoulders, chest, arms, and legs. A pair of scissors also stands in place of his penis. The rest of him appears tumorous, like he’s made of pure cancer. It’s awful.

Johnny vomits at the sight, wipes his mouth, stands, and attempts to communicate with the creature.

Who, or what, are you?

I… am… the Doctor’s… creation.
I… am… Edward.

Johnny attempts to understand what feels familiar about this creature, looking around briefly. He then remembers that in the future he’ll be in a particular Tim Burton film.

You… you’re Edward Scissorhands.

(holding human hands up)
Do… these… look… like…
“scissor hands”… to you?
I’m… scissor… everything else.
The Doctor… made… me to…
greet you… Johnny. He’s been…
waiting… for… you to… arrive.

Why would he do this?
Were you human once?

No… I am… his slave…
I’ve… always… been here.
I… am… your Scissorhands… exaggerated
to evoke… a… reaction… of disgust…
from… you. And… I… will
make… you… a slave…
(pointing to the cages)
like… them.

Johnny has to think fast. He can choose to appeal to his sensitive, emotional side, which is already out in full display, or he can switch into fight mode and use violence to resolve the situation quickly, taking his aggressions out on this man-scissors hybrid, whether it’s for his later box office flops or his deteriorating collaboration with Tim Burton.

As he looks into the icy blue, tormented eyes of the monstrosity before him, which peak out from a bulbous head of pus-filled white flesh, he decides to:

a. Say nice things to the man-scissors hybrid, befriending it (page 13)
b. Lunge toward the man-scissors hybrid, attacking it (page 14)

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