Dr. Pont Du Loc’s Evil Island: A Choose Your Own Film Adventure Starring Johnny Depp

b. Attempts to kill Dr. Pont Du Loc with whatever he can find

Ignoring both his inexplicable desire to serve the Doctor as well as the man lurking in the shadows, Johnny decides the best course of action is to beat the shit out of Dr. Pont Du Loc with whatever resources he can find in his vicinity. He looks around on the ground and sees a large loose rock that one might logically find in a cave.

He runs over to it, picks it up with his chained hands, and runs toward the Doctor to slam him in the head with it. However, the Doctor has a remote in his pocket, which he retrieves. He uses it on Johnny, which instantly controls his body and freezes him in place as he still holds the rock over his head.

DR. PONT DU LOC
(shaking his head)
Slave, slave, slave. I am
so disappointed in you.
Your will is too strong.
Too strong to contain you.
In one of your movies,
this might be a good thing.
But here, it’ll just be
the end of you.

The Doctor holds the remote up in the direction of Johnny and presses another button on it. Johnny raises the rock in his hands and brings it down in full force on his own head. He does this repeatedly, causing much damage to his skull and brain until he is incapable of doing any more.

Johnny collapses on the ground, gradually dying. Then he does, hearing the Doctor’s signature evil laugh in the final instant before slipping into blackness.

THE END

This is probably the most pathetic ending. Congrats for reaching it. Go back to page 1 or try something else in the last scene so Johnny doesn’t bash his own head in with a rock.

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