Dr. Pont Du Loc’s Evil Island: A Choose Your Own Film Adventure Starring Johnny Depp

a. Voluntarily chooses to become a slave as a form of method acting

Johnny has a secret loathing for Christian Bale, which is one of the core reasons they’ve never been in a film together. Young Johnny can remember who he is, and deeply resents him for his roles that would come throughout the early 2000s and beyond. Johnny reasons that he could be a good method actor, and this slavery thing might be a chance to prove it. That is, if he can ever get out from under it, but Johnny’s a cunning guy; he’ll probably figure it out.

I choose to become your

(grinning menacingly)
Good. Good. This is good.
(looking off screen)
Scissorman, oh, Scissorman, come in.
Transform this man into
one of my mongrels, please.


Heavy footsteps ripple through the room and Johnny turns around to face a MAN-SCISSORS HYBRID, a horrific abomination of biomechanical torture. Scissors poke out from almost everywhere, as if he was fused with scissors in some awful workplace accident at a scissor factory. His flesh is bubbly and sweaty, tumorous in appearance and as grotesque as is imaginable.

What is this thing?
Or who is this?

He is my creation.
Call it a tribute to you,
which I create to transform
each of my slaves.
This one is an expression
of my favorite character
of yours, Edward Scissorhands.

(looking at the man’s
human-looking hands)
How come he doesn’t have
scissors on his hands?

There were some complications
in the machinery.
I didn’t exactly have much
choice in the machine’s precision
regarding scissor placement.
But he’s scissor everything else,
at least.

(wheezing, to Johnny)
Pleased… to… meet… you.

Are you going to turn me into a slave?

This… is… my… sole… purpose.

Well, make it quick.

The creature walks up to Johnny and uses scissor tips on his arms to rapidly cut Johnny’s shirt off. The creature then stabs Johnny in the chest with the scissor tips on his chest while holding him in place. Johnny releases a loud scream that echoes throughout the cave. A neon-orange serum is injected from the tips of the scissors into Johnny’s chest, setting the transformation in motion.

A montage shows Johnny’s transformation as his arms and legs dislocate and rearrange into more primitive forms, hair grows from all over, and his back stretches into a bulky hunch. Other slaves apply brown and white tribal clay markings to his face similar to theirs. His eyes also turn from dark brown to yellow.




Johnny rises from his sleep to find himself in his own cage closest to the Doctor’s desk, beside the cages of the other five slaves in the main room. He feels defeated, and yet somehow loyal to the Doctor, with a perpetual misery consuming him.

Then, looking right toward the door, a woman enters the room. It immediately dawns on Johnny that this is the WOMAN FROM THE BAR, looking particularly amazing with her athletic figure, youthful 20-something face with neat symmetrical features, and odd ’80s-styled puffy blonde head of hair. Could she be Johnny’s hero today?

Johnny is conflicted; on the one hand, he feels a strange sense of loyalty to the Doctor, combined with fear, which makes for an interesting experience as a slave, and also as a method actor. At the same time, he still has a soft spot for beautiful women, and is tempted to save her and attempt to return to his normal life, where he may have a chance with women like her again.

After debating the pros and cons of either decision in his head, Johnny:

a. Calls out to the woman and tries to get her to help him escape (page 15)
b. Sides with Pont Du Loc, and alerts him to the woman’s presence (page 16)

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