Ninja Champion (1985) Review

It’s time to learn about this final red ninja from earlier, who according to IMDb and no actual mention of his name in his scenes is the Maurice guy we’ve heard a little about.

“Why are you trying to kill me?” is the first great question Maurice asks. “Why are you guys following me all the time?” he also asks with some weird intonation. “I quit my business years ago. All I want is to live my life in peace.”

Donald states that last part is bullshit and accuses him of running the whole smuggling business, trying to replace Robert with Larry (why?). And—I’ll do my best to get this straight here—Robert was a problem for some reason, so Maurice got Larry and a few goons to take care of Robert and rape Rose instead so Maurice wouldn’t be suspected and Larry and Robert and Larry and Rose rape kill kill… I’m lost. Maurice says this is all wrong, however, and goes on to clarify that Rose actually helped his plan (wait, what?) and that the interpol helped as well, and that he wanted Larry to replace Robert, but Larry only cared about his “crippled” daughter Jenny, so he told Larry’s men to rape Rose, hoping that George would marry Jenny, so that he could use Jenny as a spy to know about the interpol’s every move, but then Rose’s revenge plot gave him a way to clear his record and start a new life. Got all that? Good, because I’ve forgotten it all already.

Maurice further reasons that altogether, George, Rose and Donald killed everyone working for him so he could live this “new life” and “start all over again,” and after telling Donald he plans to kill him so nobody knows his secret, he emits one hell of an evil laugh.

“I’m kind of unclear about what my evil plan really is here in the end, but it’s quite diabolical, isn’t it?”

As Maurice continues to bask in evil laughter, Donald starts a fight. It involves a lot of hand gestures, a lot of awkwardly grabbing each other’s arms, moving back and forth with legs locked for no reason, with headbands that both say “ninja” on them, just so we know that they are, in fact, ninjas.

white ninja with headband

red ninja wearing headband

Maurice uses a blade thing on a chain as Donald uses a big wicker-looking shield thing to block his attacks. Then they both pull swords out their asses, I suppose, and the two have a sword fight in this park area. But where does the finale of this battle end, you ask? On monkey bars! What else would you expect from the brilliant Godfrey Ho but a playground ninja showdown?

Almost as soon as Maurice is on top of the bars, Donald stabs him and puts him to rest. He then walks away without even declaring himself as the ninja champion to solidify the title, unlike Richard Harrison did in Ninja the Protector.

We do get a “The End” card that Godfrey can’t go without, though.

And that’s the brilliant Ninja Champion. So far I’d say it’s Godfrey’s best film, with Ninja the Protector in a close second. Tons of amazing and subtle subtext to pick up on here, with the brilliant dubbing, acting, editing, writing and direction I’ve come to expect from this guy’s movies. I can’t get enough of this guy’s filmography, frankly.

This gets a 5/5 horribly amazing stars from me, without a doubt. I just wish I could more clearly understand the plot, but then again I’m a moron compared to Ho and probably never could. Like the other kung fu films I’ve reviewed, you can get this film in the Kung Fu 20 Movie Pack right over at Amazon for $7. If you want the movie by itself, you can buy Ninja Champion here, although the date of the film listed there is wrong.

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