Ben & Arthur (2002) Review

Well, I don’t know what to say. I was going to finish off my “Kung Fu Gunk Fu” review series with Paul Kyriazi’s Weapons of Death and Chin-Lai Sung’s Four Robbers, but it would appear that neither is as “horribly amazing” as initially suspected. I also must admit that I quickly got burned out on ninja films after reviewing 6 in a row, which is one of the reasons I haven’t released a review in nearly a year.

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5 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Stranger Things

Kids group picture in Stranger Things

Stranger Things is riding high on the Netflix popularity train, with some incredible homages to strange ’80s horror and science fiction franchises, particularly those created by strange weirdos Stephen King and Steven Spielberg, with an amazingly strange John Carpenter-esque score composed and performed by that strange electronic band Survive. It’s one big ball of strange, and while you may know a lot about the show’s references and Millie Bobby Brown thanks to Aaron Paul’s wonderfully strange interview, here are some things that you may have overlooked.

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5 Things the Star Wars Episode VIII Robe Photo Could Mean

If you’re not currently aware, Star Wars Episode VIII director Rian Johnson took this photo of a lone robe on a coat hanger in the middle of some rocky area.

Star Wars Episode VIII robe set photo by Rian Johnson

There have been many interpretations regarding what this could mean, including that it may indicate that Luke Skywalker is dead, or that this robe is Rey’s, meaning that Luke is training her in the ways of the Jedi.

But I disagree with those theories for several reasons. Here are my interpretations of what this photo could bring to the Star Wars universe in the next chapter.

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Understanding the Enigmatic Art of Nick Bolton

Several years ago, I discovered upon happenstance the YouTube channel belonging to one Nick Bolton, an apparently English bloke who had uploaded archives of artistic experimentation from the ’90s, with a couple others as recent as 2012. I had inadvertently stumbled into a world of wonder beyond my limited imagination. It was as if I had seen a tear in the fabric of the universe itself and pried it open with my bare hands to peer into the other side, discovering something greater than I could even comprehend.

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After a Brief Review Hiatus, I’ll Be Back

Sorry to any followers for not posting a new review since October. I’ve been very busy with my day job and freelance work (I’m a copywriter by trade when I’m trying to “blend in” with society), with many a development occurring with my freelance clients. However, I will redirect my attention to film reviews within the next month; it is a moral imperative. I won’t set a specific deadline, though, because it seems like every time I do it just doesn’t happen for the most part and I look like a teasing cock, but I can safely tell you that you will definitely see a new review by next month.

The upcoming review, as you may know by now based on my past posts, will be for Paul Kyriazi’s The Weapons of Death, with one more ninja film to follow (Chin-Lai Sung epic Four Robbers), completing my “octilogy” of ninja movie reviews that I started waaaaay back at the beginning of 2015. I actually can’t believe that much time has passed, especially considering I wanted to get all of these particular reviews written within 4 months (2 reviews a month), but you know how that piece of insufferable shit called “life” can get in the way of hobbies. Not to mention, I’ve come to realize that many of these ninja films feel like homogeneous carbon copies of each other in many ways, which isn’t necessarily coincidental in the case of Godfrey Ho’s canon.

I really do wish this kind of thing was my profession, but wishes are for children, so I need to grow up and learn to accept that maintaining this website will likely remain a hobby and nothing more for the next 2 or so years of my life, or however many more I have left (3 or even 4, perhaps?).

Thanks to any readers who revisit this site from time to time, as your readership is most appreciated, whether you get that I’m making fun of the movies I review or sincerely believe I think they’re good.

Dr. Pont Du Loc’s Evil Island: A Choose Your Own Film Adventure Starring Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp Dr. Pont Du Loc's Evil Island poster

So, I had a dream. It had nothing to do with racial equality or any other variation, but it had everything to do with Johnny Depp encountering an evil sorcerer/scientist who lives on an island in a parallel reality and creates horrible-looking demons using men that he somehow lures to the island. Yeah, it’s a lot like The Island of Dr. Moreau, but not. I was going to simply detail this dream in the form of a little film script, but I decided to make it another Choose Your Own Film Adventure instead, this time with a few illustrations (which will come later) to accompany the story. Why not?

And yes, this one is much more massive than the last story I wrote. At 28 pages and nearly 20,000 words, I don’t expect people to reach every ending or plot direction, but let’s just say there are plenty of ways to travel through and end this story.

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