Choose Your Own Film Adventure

b. Uses the shotgun to kill the doctor and flee to work an hour late

Without thinking, the man grabs the shotgun away from the hands of the doctor and points it at him. He pulls the trigger and a cloud of red viscera permeates the air. Bits of skull and brain and cartilage mix and mangle as they paint the walls and the ceiling.

Fuck your pills, doc!

The man then runs away, shoving nurses and doctors out of the way as they release alien shrieks while flailing their arms randomly as they run toward him. He makes his way out of the hospital without another death, and runs to work. He gets there an hour late and is greeted by the RECEPTIONIST, a woman with a two-inch waist and 300 teeth that make her nearly incoherent, who asks him one question.

Why do you have a shotgun?

It’s for protection.

Okay then. Get to work.


The man then begins walking to the oatmeal processing room, but stops after a step. He then remembers how much he hates his job, turns the shotgun on himself, and blows his head off. The mess gets all over the receptionist, and she screams in terror. The man doesn’t make it even remotely close to Day Five, sadly.


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