Choose Your Own Film Adventure

c. Attempts to telepathically connect with his neighbor

Everything is so meaningless that the man discovers he needs to reach beyond the familiar, tearing through the false constructs of reality, and wrap his mind around the cosmic connection that lingers within the unseen realm. Like a mass of tendrils slithering across space in hopes of attaining a home, the man’s mind spreads out in transparent thoughts that try to connect with those of his neighbor.


The man’s neighbor, sitting across the side yard in his comfy home, watching a daytime talk show called Meet the Losers of Horrible America, simply enjoys his early retirement from the soap factory. Not a single thought penetrates his mind, and the man’s efforts prove useless. There is no mental connection that can result from the man’s meek willpower, and thus the “mental tendrils” retreat back into their useless confines.

The man winds up passing out from the effort, and chokes on his oatmeal, resulting in his death. Yes, it is as if his work has literally killed him. The slavery of the oatmeal work has put an end to his existence, and subsequently his caucusfilia.


Page 1 might bring some better luck for the likes of you.

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