Why Martin Scorsese Is the Worst Director of All Time

Martin Scorsese at the 2006 Peabody Awards

I don’t like this smug face, and I’ll tell you why. I know it’s a controversial opinion, believe me, but just hear me out. Try to understand why I think geniuses like Godfrey Ho and Charles Band are so much better than this worthless hack who does nothing but sit in a chair all day probably asking for Italian sandwiches (he looks like a guy I’d see in a deli all the time). I think he could quite feasibly be not only the worst living director, but also the worst in the history of cinema. I think there are perfectly valid reasons, and anybody who thinks differently is likely intellectually and morally inferior.

He Makes Movies About Psychopaths

travis bickle in taxi driver

Look at this guy with the scary crazy eyes and terrifying tuft of hair. He’s a complete psychopath, and one of many who Scorsese glorifies as “human beings.” He even has them narrate the story, like we’re supposed to feel sympathy or empathy or something for these pieces of scum. Nobody can empathize with a psychopath, and if you can, then you are one. Jeez. I mean, John Hinckley, Jr.—the guy who shot JFK, John Lennon and Reagan and traveled back in time to assassinate Lincoln and Franz Ferdinand—was entirely motivated by the film Taxi Driver. There’s something seriously wrong when a movie can delude you so severely.

Take Travis Bickle here from that movie. He’s not only a psycho who wants to kill presidential candidates, but he hangs out with a 12-year-old prostitute, with the thin façade that he wants to help her. He doesn’t have friends (I wonder why…), he can’t go without stalking Cybill Shepherd, and he even takes her to a porno flick where they sit on the dirtiest seats in Brooklyn! Who does that? Abhorrent! This is a guy who should be the antagonist, not a protagonist we’re supposed to adore and love.

Oh, and let’s not forget all of the gangsters in Goodfellas, Casino or The Departed, or that abusive boxing shithead in Raging Bull. Why should I care about these people when all I want to see is them go to prison and rot like the scum they are? It’s what any morally responsible person would want, to clean these filthy streets and rid them of this garbage. I despise Robert De Niro because of these films. Thanks, Scorsese.

He Puts Too Many Rolling Stones Songs in His Movies

Rolling Stones in 1965
Whenever I see their faces all I see is Scorsese. Ruined!

I used to love “Gimme Shelter” and many other Rolling Stones songs, until I heard them used to glorify violence and being used hundreds of times. Now I can’t listen to one of their songs without imagining a bullet in somebody’s head as their brains and skull fragments swim in a nearby pool of deep red blood. It’s like somebody used the Ludovico Technique on me when it comes to their music, except unlike Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange I’m not a totally worthless psychopath who narrates his life.

Seriously, if I hear “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” again I might have flashbacks to some horrible moments I thought I repressed. Thanks once again, Scorsese, you asshole.

He Uses Too Much Foul Language

I love a good “fuck” every now and then, or a nice big “shit”, but Scorsese just overdoes it. I’m sure suit-wearing gangsters in real life had at least some element of class, with a touch of eloquence on their tongues. I’ve never even met a gangster and I know this foul-mouthed bullshit to be inaccurate, and for some reason I see it everywhere; every single gangster movie or show has borrowed Scorsese’s horrible stereotype of the toilet-mouthed mafia man. Every other word is “fuck” or “motherfucker” or “shit motherfucker” or some other arbitrary combo. Learn to write good dialogue, Scorsese, so a sentence isn’t outweighed by “motherfucker”‘s instead of meaningful things that make me care.

His Voice Sounds Too Funny

I thought Quentin Tarantino’s voice was grating, but this guy Scorsese… man, oh man. He makes Tarantino sound like an immaculate angel who could seduce God himself. Every interview: “Nak, nak, nak, this film is really deep, I think I was born with mouse DNA, nak, nak, the scene was remarkable, nak, nak, nak, nak, nak, I am a hack, nak.” Learn how to not sound like some old mouse before you try making movies. It’s horrendous to listen to, and your actors might tolerate you more and not make fun of you around every corner.

He’s Too Old to Direct Young People

At his age, he should be directing movies about retirement homes for gangsters, or have Travis Bickle struggling with his bowels and Alzheimer’s rather than insanity and isolation. What he shouldn’t be doing is directing movies with young main actors like Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio. I get a creepy homoerotic vibe from it, like he secretly wants these men for more than their acting chops. He idolizes DiCaprio to the point where when I see them in a picture together I just think, “Weird, dude!”

Maybe Leo should file a restraining order, but then again he’s getting paid to be with that dude all the time in movies. I don’t know what might really be going on there off-screen, but maybe Scorsese just wants to be young again and sees DiCaprio as a younger version of himself. Maybe he wants to fuck himself. Who knows?

martin scorsese and leo dicaprio
Mind the weird age gap.

These are the reasons I think Martin Scorsese is likely the worst director we’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing. I don’t get why people like him unless they have no conscience or sense of art. Meanwhile, I’m gonna go watch The Pest again, because that’s at least lighthearted, clever, and hilarious, unlike anything that hack I just wrote about has ever done.

2 thoughts on “Why Martin Scorsese Is the Worst Director of All Time

  1. MAKING MOVIES ABOUT PSYCHOPATHS

    Taxi Driver is a psychological Thriller which means: emphasizes the unstable or delusional psychological states of its characters. In the case of Travis Bickle, He’s a lonely, paranoid, unstable,Vietnam veteran who is very unsocial. He wants to be with a woman, because he wants to get out of his isolation. But he can’t because he doesn’t understand the world around him. We are not suppose to like or love him, we suppose to understand him. Plus, He went to The Vietnam War so he must see some real traumatic shit. And since when every protagonist are suppose to be likable or loved, It’s call an Anti-Hero, aside from Scorsese’s protagonist there is also: Micheal Corleone (The Godfather), Alex Delarge (A Clockwork Orange), Will Munny (Unforgiven), Daniel Plainview (There Will Be Blood), Oh Dae-Su (Oldboy) and Derek Vinyard (American History X) who is even worse because he’s a neo-Nazi. I understand Travis, he wants to live among society but he can’t because of his instability and paranoia that he has.

    For Jake LaMotta, well he’s a self destructive man who also destroyed his family apart and got what he deserve: mostly nothing. And the gangsters also got what they deserve: Either they’re ruined or they end up dead.

    HE USE TOO MUCH ROLLING STONE

    Not really, he use other classical music in his works too you know, or you only watched five of his movies. Plus, the ”Gimme Shelter” song Has the words ”Rape,murder yeah !” so yeah, I would be less shock
    when a brain blows out than hearing ”Rape” out of nowhere in a song.

    HE USE TOO MUCH FOUL LANGUAGE

    Scorsese was watching gangsters’ activities from his bedroom when he was a child, so everything that we see is what he remembered. But you know you can go meet Italian gangsters and tell us if it’s accurate or not.

    HIS VOICE SOUNDS TOO FUNNY

    … You’re immature.

    HE’S TOO OLD TO DIRECT YOUNG PEOPLE

    And now you’re a fucking weirdo:”I get a creepy homoerotic vibe from it’ What the fuck are you talking about ? ”Maybe he wants to fuck himself” What is wrong with you ? He sees DiCaprio as the new generation of actors, it’s like his team up with De Niro, I think you’re more paranoid then Bickle.

    You know what, if Martin Scorsese is really the worst filmmakers of all time why his movies are in high regard ? why people respect him ? And if he is really the worst of the worst, no one would talk about him at all and his movies would be forgotten, but they are not. Your ”arguments” are very pathetic and immature. You are not talking about his style of directing, his editing, his cinematography. There is nothing that can save your ”arguments”.

    Like

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