Okay, so readers on my blog already know they can safely expect my reviews to reach around a 6,000-word minimum for the most part. Well, one of the main reasons my latest review became my longest (a whopping ~8,500) is because while reviewing the film, I was to understand the film was only around 57 minutes long, based on the length of the DVD rip on my computer—which was taken from my personal kung fu DVD collection, I might add to avoid those copyright sirens, whatever those sound like. I’m sure Godfrey Ho and IFD Films are really out to sue.
The Horrors of Corruption
I was so proud to reach those perceived final two minutes of Ninja Champion, although I remembered a huge shootout at the end and some awesome ninja stuff from my first viewing, but I thought those might be wrapped up in that amount of time (not unusual for a Godfrey Ho production to magnificently cram it all in at the last minute). Unfortunately, with those last two minutes remaining, I jovially continued my review, preparing to rest after hours of writing, only to find that the rip had been corrupted, as the video stuttered like a broken child and the audio turned into a monotonous flatline that quickly extinguished itself. I found the film on YouTube, and discovered that my rip had cut about 30 minutes off of the film, meaning that I still had another third of the movie to cover.
A Revolutionary Idea
The subsequent additional writing resulting from my lack of foresight ended with my longest review, and it finally occurred to me that I might be able to break my reviews up into pages. It was as if I had been infused with the spirit of Steve Jobs momentarily, as I realized that readers might appreciate longer reviews in sections that they can navigate, rather than have to scroll for miles down a single page. Thus, I found a simple magical WordPress Code (this holy code was <!--nextpage-->) which made navigating reviews simpler than ever before. I also added “next page” hyperlinks at the bottoms of each page to help streamline the navigation from page to page.
Now, readers of my reviews will be able to go through pages through the mystical presence of pagination. Readers can read a page, continue their lives and come back to continue on the next page whenever they want. So, I present to you for all future reviews, Horribly Amazing Films: Now with Pagination!™